Fearless

Fearless is the first track from Taylor's 2nd album Fearless. I think this is the perfect song to start off this blog. Fearless is a love song about falling in love with someone, and being caught up in the moment and following your heart no matter what and saying all of the things that you want. That is what Fearless is defined for me. There will be moments in your life where you hesitate and don't speak about how you truly feel and then you look back on the moment in the future and you regret it so much.

This song is a perfect description about something that happened in my life five years ago. At the time I was attending college and I was studying Performing Arts at college. There was a boy in my class called E and I remember in one of the first lessons we had to pair up for a project within the lesson. He had previously attended my secondary school and we were friends of friends but we never spoke to each other. And even right then and there I couldn't say anything to him. It wasn't because I didn't want to, it because I actually didn't know what to say. At this point I was a very shy girl and I always found it difficult to speak to people when I first met them and tried to get to know them. It did prevent me from making a few friendships in my life but that's how I've always been. I am better at speaking to people now but I always have this wall up when it comes to my shyness.

However, soon after that E and I had to work together again in a small group because we had to devise a performance from a small part of a script. In one part of the script we had to flirt with each other, and because I love acting and have been doing it for a long time I was comfortable with the scene. However, when we finished practicing and we were out of character I noticed him. I don't know what it was but suddenly we had the courage to speak to each other and I notice how much I really liked his company and how lovely of a guy he was.

I never told anyone I liked him apart from one friend of mine who didn't attend my college so I felt safe that no one would know. I had crushes on guys in the past but they would always be a source of gossip so it never worked out.

I think at the time he did have a girlfriend, and I found out and I was saddened by it but I got over it quickly enough and just got on with my life at college. During that time, there was a small window of time where E was very down. He wasn't as happy as he usually was so I wondered if something had happened with his girlfriend. I didn't know too much about his relationship apart from my friend telling me that they were going through a rough patch. I didn't know the girlfriend so I didn't say anything because it had nothing to do with me.

Then he suddenly became his cheery old self again and I noticed he was speaking to me again but as if I was the only one in the room he wanted to speak too. This was when I realized I really did like him. I remember calling my friend every evening about what we talked about in class and she was giggling at how struck I was. I felt like a silly schoolgirl.

It wasn't long until I realized I needed to tell him about how I felt. It was so nerve wracking because I had confessed to boys before but I had always been turned down so I never had the confidence to admit my feelings to people. However, I felt in my gut that this time it would be a good ending. I still felt nervous about telling him so through the wonderful social media of Facebook, I remember posting a status about wanting to tell someone I like them and feeling bad that they didn't know. And guess who is the first person to message me? E.

At this point I knew that there was a huge chance he liked me back because he literally messaged me seconds after I posted the status. He then spent the next hour asking me about who it was and questions about who it was. In the end he knew he was someone from my Performing Arts class. He begged me to let him know who it was the next day when we were in class. The next day came and I didn't have the nerves to tell him, and luckily he hadn't remembered either. But when I came home there was a message from E telling me that I had forgot to let him know about who I liked. Again it took about half an hour before I finally said "It's you!". Them two words were the most nerve wracking words I have ever told someone, but it was the most fearless moment of my life. He confessed he felt the same way and five years later we are still together.

Fearless is definitely the song that bookmarks that part of my life. I always wondered how my life would have been like if I hadn't told him. We have talked about it before and he said if I hadn't confessed then he would have after time. Whether that would have happened or not we will never know. Fearless and that time of my life have taught me that you should never hesitate to say what is on your mind because it could make you miss out on so much in your life.